Since coming to AA almost 6 yrs ago I have prayed, to some extent, nearly every day. The serenity prayer was a revelation to me, an opportunity for me to exhale and stop trying to control the uncontrollable for the first time in my life. I refused to say the word God but I prayed regardless, often looking at the sky or the tree outside my window. The semantics of other set prayers made me cringe violently so I just reworded them.
Over the following years my relationship with prayer has been turbulent yet consistent. My ego does not like to be silenced and so periodically tries to convince me of the futility of prayer. Essentially, a voice inside me tells me I am an idiot for praying, it doesn’t work and I should give up trying.
What has helped me is persevering, regardless of how I feel about it, and reminding myself that when I do pray I have a better day. Further to this, a bit of clarification and scientific evidence usually quashes my rebellion.
Prayer is the setting of an intention, it is not a plea. It is a resolve to do things differently – to think differently and to behave differently. For me, it expresses a desire to live along spiritual lines, to be guided by love and compassion instead of hate and resentment, to pause when agitated and allow my responses to be kind and gentle rather than defensive and critical. Whether God is “out there” or an internal archetype somewhere within me is an arbitrary distinction where prayer is concerned.
Prayer influences our state of mind, which in turn influences our “state of body”. My inner petulant child, that frequently interjects dismissing prayer as useless bollocks, can be muted by the scientific evidence that it reduces anxiety, elevates a depressed mood, lowers blood pressure and stabilizes sleep patterns. Even more appealing is the proven power of prayer to influence our thinking.
This prompts a shift in the habits of the mind, and, subsequently, patterns of behavior. These changes, in turn and over time, induce changes in the brain, further influencing our subjective and objective experience of the world and how we participate in it.
The Science, Psychology and Metaphysics of Prayer – Michael J. Formica MS, MA in Psychology Today
In a nutshell, prayer works! This incredible capacity of prayer to literally transform our brains (neuroplasticity) absolutely fascinates me. Our thinking and behavioural habits CAN change and prayer facilitates these changes. Ever the stickler for evidence before I do something this definitely propels me to want to pray more.