“Without action, my gratitude is just a pleasant emotion.” ~ Daily Reflections
It’s all very well feeling fluffy and positive inside, but if I keep it to myself, selfishly hoarding my treasure, I am not practising the twelfth step. If I don’t pay it forward, passing on what was freely given to me, I risk losing my gratitude and eventually my sobriety. Skipping off into the sunset with my swag of AA rewards is therefore not an option for me. But it is no longer the fear of losing these things that propels me to work with other alcoholics and talk to those still suffering, it is the feeling I get sometimes, frequently, that my heart may literally burst with gratitude, and I want others to experience the gifts I have been given.
When I hear newcomers speak in meetings, their pain a visible, palpable energy, I am transported back to my early days, my first two years, and I am flooded both my compassion for the person suffering, and gratitude that I no longer feel like that. How could I then possibly not reach out my hand and share my experience, offering the same sliver of hope that was once offered to me, by someone with sparkly eyes looking into my dead eyes.