I am your disease. I hate meetings. I hate higher powers. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of alcoholism. I am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That’s me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.
I love to catch you with the element of suprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven’t I? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call on me? I was there, I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can’t feel anything at all. This is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term suffering.

I’ve been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me in. You said you didn’t deserve these good things and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life…

…More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, Your meeting, Your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can’t function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live I may only exist. But I am here…

We read this at the meeting tonight and it blew me away. Never heard it before, so glad I have now.

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